Amnesia Lane

Every New Year's Eve I go back over the things that I have done, should have done, and regret doing. This year I am going to go back over this last year chronologically. Take a trip down Amnesia Lane with me if you will.

JANUARY 2013

I was just getting over a horrible back spasm that left me out of commission for six weeks. I was told by my Chiropractor that I needed to strengthen my core muscles to help prevent future occurrences. So I join Planet Fitness. This also allows me to start running again on the treadmill. I have some bad knee pain so I adjust my running style. It was at this time my good friend Kerri Drees tells me I'm signing up for the Sunshine Fest 5K (if you knew Kerri, this statement makes perfect sense to you). 

I sign up but lack motivation to run outside in the cold, subzero temps. So I do a search on Google and find a picture that spoke to me...

I posted this on facebook and my fb friend Michael Wasserman commented on it saying "you can run for me anytime!" Michael is a 52-year-old man who has Down syndrome and is confined to a wheelchair - so this was perfect motivation! I set out to run for Michael.

In a conversation I had with Kerri, she insisted I go on Q-FM and talk about what I was doing. Kerri and I talked about it and we both thought maybe others would love to do this as well. So I started I Run 4 (IR4). I thought how nice it would be to have a group of about 100 people doing this. I felt that number was a big stretch. I completed my first ever 5K and first ever run for Michael in 32:10

FEBRUARY:

I competed in my first ever 10K fittingly called the "Frozen Feat". I completed it in 1:04:25. The temp was a balmy -2. It certainly isn't a fast time but I was tickled pink because I just ran 6.2 miles.

MARCH:

I lose my delivery route with Cass-Clay/Kemps and became a relief driver for them. This was not a high point in my year. I would spend the next four months in a hotel in Rugby, ND (the geographic center of North America). I made a couple friends there but it certainly was not home. By this time I was paying for two gym memberships in Grand Forks, ND that I could not use.

On the bright side to March, I did participate in the Polar Plunge to help raise funds for the Special Olympics (another Kerri suggestion). I raised $250 and jumped into the freezing water. It was brutal but worth it!

APRIL

April was a rocky month. The horrible winter was not letting go. On April 15th (the day before my 41st birthday) we had a snow storm and my delivery truck was hit by a semi-trailer. Thankfully there were no injuries but it sure made for a long day.

The upside to this month was the growth of IR4! We had grown larger than I could have imagined. God really took the reins on this endeavor. We hit 500 members and 50 matches in 5 countries! I thought...

This is getting big - I need a Board of Directors!!!

Without further ado I selected the Board members as well as the Vice President. For VP I selected Amy Courts. She had set the bar for interaction among the runners and the buddies. When people would ask me what they needed to do to be a runner I would say without hesitation "Read all of Amy's posts!"

The IR4 Board of Directors each had their strengths that I felt would best serve the organization. It wasn't who was going to agree with me but who would be likely to challenge me when an issue came up where I was not right. I selected Josh Jones, Yvonne Jones, Mary Morris, Lea Duckstad, Alison Larsen, Lesley Larson.

MAY:

Winter is still hanging on. But it breaks just in time for me to complete my first ever half marathon in Fargo, ND. I completed it in 2:21. It was the best feeling crossing the finish line of a 13.1 mile run for Michael with the crowd cheering inside the Fargodome!

JUNE:

I was looking at becoming a nonprofit organization. I talked with Kerri Drees again (are you seeing a recurring theme here). She put me in contact with Michelle Walters of Vessel Christian Foundation. Michelle and I decided to meet at Starbucks. After an hour and a half she was very excited about the future of IR4. A week later, we are accepted into their umbrella and receive nonprofit status. We also hit 1000 members! Kerri once again puts me on the radio.

JULY:

We have the first two fundraisers as a nonprofit organization. The first is a family fun center in Grand Forks called Northern Air. The second was a concert from my good friends Nine Lashes.

Then without warning, at the end of July, my dad has a stroke and a hemorrhage on his brain and needs emergency surgery. The surgery was on Friday and my dad was home on Sunday. Then came August.

AUGUST:

Sunday August 4th, I was preparing for my last two days as a driver for Cass-Clay. I looked at my phone and saw I had gotten a text from Kerri about a New Year’s Eve concert featuring some of my favorite hardcore Christian metal bands. She sent it at 1:00 pm but I didn't see it until after 8. I sent a response but didn't get one back. She must have gone to bed early. 

August 5th, Kerri went in to surgery to have her lap band removed. The doctor had accidentally nicked an artery. Kerri Drees never made it out of surgery. She went home to be with Jesus that day.

Her funeral was the following Saturday. I was honored to be able to play on the worship team that led her memorial service. The following day, my dad landed back in the hospital. He was having mini strokes due to his blood thinners being out of whack. He spent the next 5 days in the hospital.

SEPTEMBER:

I completed the Color Run with my adorable 3 year old daughter. We had such a blast.

OCTOBER:

This is when the craziness starts. The press finally caught wind of IR4. Natalie DiBlasio of USA Today and David Schwab of WDAZ-TV both did some awesome stories. I also completed my second 5K and 10K at the Wild Hog in Grand Forks.

NOVEMBER:

IR4 hit a huge milestone! We hit 10,000 members! I am interviewed by Torrie Greer of the Crookston Daily Times and Kevin Bonham of the Grand Forks Herald. I also did a radio interview with Missy Ohe of the Missy Ohe Show on Q-FM

DECEMBER:

I scheduled three bands to come in 2014 for an IR4 fundraiser! We also have come up with another IR4 project which we will be unveiling in early January. I can't wait to let you all know what it is!

I realize this blog got a little wordy but it was an incredible year. None of which would have been possible without God in my life. He blessed me with a great staff. Thank you to my Board of Directors and VP Amy Courts.

I want to say a special thank you to those who put so many hours a day into IR4... Connection Coordinator Carol Dublin, HR Director Lesley Larson, and the Former Connection Coordinator Kim McGuffey. Without you we would not be who we are today! 

Last but not least, thank you Michael. You are the inspiration for 11.8k people! Without you this dream dies. I love you, buddy and thank you for letting me run for you. For those of you reading this - who do YOU run for?

A Trip Through Memory Lane...

"I can only note that the past is beautiful because one never realises an emotion at the time. It expands later, and thus we don't have complete emotions about the present, only about the past." 

― Virginia Woolf

I was reading through some of my blogs recently. Even though it's still a new organization, there is nostalgia. My April 3rd blog was about the rapid growth of I Run 4 (IR4). We had hit 500 members and 50 matches. I remember feeling elated. Seven months later we hit 10,000 members and 3,100 matches! But I'm not here to talk about the growth, per se, I want to talk about a fraction of our awesome members.

 Let’s start with the amazing Nicholas Jones. I remember when I first heard about this amazing little boy. His mom and dad, Josh and Yvonne, were posting status updates about him. He was diagnosed with Alexander's disease. As Josh put it "it's like all the wiring in his brain lacked coating and kept shorting out." At one point, the doctors said all they could do was make him comfortable until he passes. Miraculously, the next day he seemed to snap out of it, the many prayers had been answered. Nick was a fighter. 

On February 2nd, several months later, this little fighter went home to be with Jesus. He is the reason I created the Remembrance Group. Yvonne Jones is now the Executive Director of that group and both she and Josh are IR4 Board members.

Natalie was the thirteenth runner to join IR4. She had been paired with the wonderful Zoe, daughter of Heather Redington. On the surface, Natalie looks just like any other loving mother and wife. Her profile picture is with her husband and two children, all acting silly (it truly is an adorable picture). But life for her hasn't always been blissful.

Eleven years ago, Natalie was married to Drew Laird, a highly motivated individual - an avid runner who became a Blackhawk helicopter pilot at the age of twenty-two. When Drew was twenty-three, two major things happened in his life - he and Natalie became first-time parents with the birth of their son Caeden. Secondly, he was deployed to Iraq for 18 months.

When Drew returned home from his deployment, he shared with Natalie that he wished to become one of the military's elite - he wanted to become a Navy SEAL. His self-training became very intense - he began "training and running and swimming even harder than he ever had before."

On May, 19th 2008, he ran his first marathon - the Colfax Marathon. When he crossed the finish line, Natalie was there to cheer him on. By her own admission, she "had little motivation so instead I would cheer him on!" 

They were pregnant with their second son, Ethan, and  decided to take Memorial weekend to visit a nearby National Cemetery to honor fallen heroes. 

They discussed what would happen if Drew should pass away. "He reminded me gently that he loved Jesus and he would be in heaven with the Lord, so I would need to do whatever helped me here."

The following day it was business as usual. Drew was at the local training center training on his own for a 50-meter underwater swim without oxygen. "It is called Shallowater blackout," according to the Coroner. "He had been holding his breath for too long and would not even have felt lightheaded. On May 27th, 2008, he went to be with Jesus at age twenty-five.

Two years later, Natalie started running the race set before her. She had started training for her first marathon - the first marathon Drew had run - the Colfax. "So with many tears, I ran the Colfax Marathon with my sister, three years after Drew died." 

During her training, God had another surprise for her. She had met a wonderful man, Matt. The two are now happily married. As for Natalie, she has completed two marathons since - one being the Rock and Roll Marathon in Denver.

To keep this blog from becoming a novel, I will end with Amanda Sullivan. Amanda has been through some pretty rough times. First she was stopped in her vehicle and hit by a car at full speed because the driver was texting and speeding - crushing her face, shattering her skull, and causing several brain injuries. Then six weeks later she was walking on the walkway to PT when a driver mistakenly put his car in reverse and pressed the accelerator and slammed into Amanda, causing many debilitating injuries - including cracking her skull again. She spent the next year in a bed.

Amanda, despite the fact fate dealt her an awful hand, has become the epitome of inspiration. I for one am truly inspired by her and her boyfriend, Todd. Watch this video!

This is just a tiny fraction of the inspiration inside the confines of IR4. Everyday our buddies fight - never give up. We are so blessed to read the stories after stories of true heroes - our buddies! So who do YOU run for?

Blest Be the Tie That Binds...

When two people are connected, there is a tie - a common thread they both share. For some, it may be church, and for others, it may be a movie or music. For Michael Wasserman and me, it was his artwork and The International Down Syndrome Coalition - in the beginning, at least. Now the tie that binds us is I Run 4. Together, with the help of God, he and I have changed some lives. 

Before IR4, Michael and I were complete strangers, and in a way, we still are because we have never met face to face or skyped. But he is still my best buddy! Now if Michael hadn't been blessed with Down syndrome or cursed with bilateral hip dysplasia, we may have never crossed virtual paths. So I guess it's safe to say that those two diagnoses are also a tie that binds us together.

For Yanni, the tie is completely different. Her tie with runner Devon Allwine is something I had never heard of before - schizencephaly. So I had to do some wiki-research! (yes, I linked the word to save you some research time). Yanni's mom Lisa Wilson says "her limitations with mobility and whatnot are fairly standard for her condition. But I don't want to focus much on that because she is a beautiful little girl with a smile that lights my world and the world of so many other people."

Logan's tie with runner Renee Baio is called Fragile X syndrome - and Renee's tie with I Run 4 is the nonprofit organization founded by her and husband Scott. Some of the children in The Bailey Baio Angel Foundation are matched in IR4. The BBAF provides "certain assistance and emotional support to children and families affected by Organic Acidemias and other diseases detected through Newborn Screening." They started the nonprofit after a terrible scare...

"Within days of her birth, Bailey tested 'positive' for a metabolic disorder known as “G-A 1”. For the first ten weeks of her life, we lived a nightmare founded in overwhelming love that we felt for this gorgeous little Angel who had graced our life, combined with a level of fear, grief, and pain that we had never before experienced in our lives.'As it turned out, our prayer for a miracle was answered as Bailey’s final round of tests came back showing that the first tests had been ‘false positives’"

The Baio's then set out to help those whose tests weren't as fortunate.

What are some of the other ties in IR4? Let me give you a little list...

cerebral palsy
spina bifida
autism
nonketotic hyperglycinemia
mitochondrial disease
leukemia
leukodystophy
sensory integration disorder
epilepsy
deletion 22q13
trisomy 9
CDKL5
muscular dystrophy
multiple sclerosis
spinal muscular atrophy (SMA)
alternating hemiplegia of childhood (AHC)

(This is quite a list and I apologize for the ones I missed.)

Now I know this wasn't my typical up close and personal blog but I want people to know that these are the ties that bind us together in this incredible melting pot called I Run 4. We are truly blessed to have wonderful people like them in IR4. This is where bonds are formed and EVERYONE is beautiful! Everyone's life here is equally important and we want everyone's voice to be equally heard. Our buddies are the words and we are their sound.

Be the Sound and ask "Who do YOU run for?"

I Shouldn't Be Alive!

"I shouldn't be alive!" What a great way to start a story. It instantly whets the appetite of the reader. Just as Pavlov's experiment proved that ringing a bell, signaling feeding time for a dog brought on the physiological change of salivation - "I shouldn't be alive" gets the reader salivating for a juicy story. So here goes the cold water.

My story isn't heroic. I didn't save some little old lady from a burning building, nor did I take a bullet for a brother in arms. While I did my job as a police officer very well and efficiently - I felt further and further away from heroism in a reality that kept snarling and biting at my heels like "Jaws" in the deep waters of depression. I was losing the battle. I was being eaten alive.

I remember being depressed as early as the age of thirteen. I was the sixth child of six and our household was far from perfectly functional. My father is a recovered alcoholic who favored my middle brother and sister. I always felt overshadowed, especially by my brother. He was a naturally gifted athlete who blew his chance at playing at a major league level by relying solely on his talent, rather than practicing and honing his skills. I had to over achieve in everything I did to come out of my brother's shadow.

This deep-seated need to be better than him brought on a perfectionism that was very unhealthy. If I did something and I didn't first succeed, I felt like a failure. I thought I was a complete loser. It was to a point that if it was something I couldn't do right away, I didn't do it. But if I DID do it, I was great.

Take Tae Kwon Do for instance. I joined when I was twenty-four. By the age of twenty-six I was a second Dan (degree) black belt in Tae Kwon Do and a first Dan black belt in Hoi Jeon Moo Sool. That was with a mandatory year wait between first and second Dan. I still felt empty.

In 2007, I was divorced for the third time. This failure was even worse than the first two as it only lasted seven months. I hit my low. There was no way out of this ever worsening crevasse that swallowed me whole. Those who knew me say I was always happy and funny. They knew the character I had developed over decades so people wouldn't suspect what a loser I really was. Broke, three time divorcee, no future.

At the start of that year, I suffered five simultaneous back spasms. I was prescribed Oxycodone and Flexoril for the pain. I've never been addicted to drugs or alcohol and wasn't about to start. I refused to take the Oxy pills because I didn't want to kill the pain or worse, develop an addiction that is prevalent in my genes. This point factors in to play in September, 2007.

It was the second day of September. The sun was shining beautifully and I spent the morning with a buddy of mine. I had helped him move some furniture. The day was not out of the ordinary for anyone but me. My mind was black with self-loathing. We finished up about noon that day and I went home to a run-down duplex, laden with black mold, that I still couldn't afford.

I got home and the tears came. I laid in my bed for the better part of an hour trying to come up with some way to give myself value. In that dark state, it's near impossible. My mind was made up. I went to my fridge and grabbed the pills that had been there for months. I counted them to see if it would be enough to quiet my pain once and for all.

In one swig with Mt. Dew I consumed thirty Oxycodone and twenty-one Flexoril. After about ten minutes, panic set in. WHAT IF IT WASN'T ENOUGH??? I called the paramedics so I could get my stomach pumped and do it right - with a gun. Then just like that, things went dark...

I woke two days later in a hospital thirty miles away. I had tubes, oxygen, and excruciating pain in my chest. I was in a room with no regular walls, these walls were glass so the doctors and nurses could monitor every move. I was still alive. But it was close. The reason my chest hurt was due to my respiration falling to two breaths per minute and CPR.

It was hell. It was miserable. It was a blessing in disguise. I shouldn't be alive. But why was I?

I hadn't found Christ at that point but He saved me. My purpose, apparently, hadn't been fulfilled. Over the next couple of years, I fought my way out through counseling and proper medications. In August of 2010, I finally gave my life over to Christ and He accepted me, even though I spent so many years cursing God for everything under the sun.

What a depressing story, right? Why on earth would I want to share this with everyone? I debated it over and over. I lost sleep over it. Yesterday, I asked my girlfriend if I should tell it and she said I should be brave and do it because if it helps someone else, it is worth it.

I woke up this morning nice and early so I could get to practice for the worship team at my church. As usual, I checked my I Run 4 group page and the first story was asking for prayers as the father of one of the children had taken his own life. I didn't need another sign. So here it is - my story.

There IS hope. Please be strong. The storm may feel like forever, but it will pass. Do I still have bouts of depression? Yes, sure I do but I have outlets now. I have my friends, my pastor, my God. If you feel none of your friends or family will listen or tell you to suck it up - talk to someone else.

Had God not saved my life that day in September, 2007, I wouldn't be running for anyone. I have been blessed to have Michael and his mom Mary in my life. I am blessed to have the whole I Run 4 family. Even more importantly, I am blessed to have YOU! So who are YOU going to run for?

For help, call tel:1-800-273-8255 

Why we should all Kerri On!

Okay, so it's been far too long since I've written in this blog. It has been a bittersweet couple of month for me personally. This incredible group of people who have joined me in my dream of matching runners with children and adults with special needs is growing so fast. We hit the 5000 member mark in just seven short months. What an amazing feat! We are in every single U.S. State, including, the District of Columbia. That is miraculous! I would love to be able to say it was all me but it wasn't, God dealt the cards on this one. He is my Ace in the hole so to speak.

You can never know His reasons for doing things. Yes, I know everything He does is for my ultimate good. I would be lying if I said I didn't wonder why he chose to make I Run 4 (IR4) the booming success that it is and not other ideas, or the ideas of others. I am blessed by this nonetheless. 

Every day I read as many posts as I can and try so hard to respond to them but I can't even put a dent in the totality of comments on this incredible page. I have read on several occasions that it is the most inspirational page on Facebook! 

Today, as I was feeling a bit low, members of the group came to my rescue. Many said the group is their daily inspiration and told me to Kerri On! Okay, you may be saying to yourself "whoa, what the heck does Kerri On mean, and can't these people spell?"

You see, Kerri On means to live life full of love. Love out loud. Kerri is the person who interviewed me when I first started running for Michael. She was the catalyst. Then a few months later she introduced me to Michelle Walters, Executive Director of Vessel Christian Foundation, the wonderful organization whose umbrella IR4 is under to be a 501(c)(3) organization. 

Kerri never hesitated to promote others. She was never selfish. Her connections allowed her to do some awesome things and be in amazing places but Kerri loved to give those opportunities to others. She got a thrill out of watching others experience those surreal moments instead of herself.

Earlier this month, she went in to have her Lap-Band removed and did not come out. Kerri passed away at the age of 47. I was so lucky to have her as a friend, confidante, and mentor. To honor the amazing person she was the I Run 4 Remembrance group is now the I Run 4 Kerri Remembrance group. 

The news of Kerri's death came on the heels of my father's emergency brain surgery. He had a lesion on his brain that would have killed him if he were to go another 24 hours. Thankfully the pressure was relieved and he is healing faster than first expected (you can never keep a Marine down). But wait... there's more.

Just weeks before the incident with my father, IR4 suffered two losses. Both were just days apart. Two of our little buddies left all of their pain behind to walk hand in hand with Jesus - just like Kerri is doing right now. 

Issac Radic (Lori Anderson) was matched with runner Amber Lindemoen. He was blessed with Down syndrome. He was just 9 months old when he passed away July 23 due to complications from surgery. He was a beautiful baby and the first buddy I had met since creating IR4. I was fortunate enough to hold this precious child in my arms and look into his eyes.

Gabriel Jimenez (Mayte Jimenez) of Mexico passed away on July 20th. Gabriel suffered from a condition called Leukodystrophy the same disease that took Nick Jones (Josh and Yvonne Jones, IR4 Board Members) back on Feb. 9th.

So I suppose you are all wondering why I'm writing such a sad blog today. Here is the answer. Because this is a side effect to being matched up with a child or adult with special needs. 

Please know it's not a bad thing. We are here to make their time, no matter how short it is, as great as it can be. While they may never be able to run and feel the freedom we often take for granted, they can live vicariously through us - to help them feel alive and loved. We aim to teach others about the GOOD in our buddies, about the HUMANNESS in our buddies, to bring JOY into their world and their parents world.

If you aren't in this amazing group and you are a runner, ask yourself the next time you lace up - why am I doing this? Who do YOU run for?

I Am No Oskar Schindler!

I remember years ago when I first saw the movie "Schindler's List" in the theater.  Near the end, he was presented a ring forged from the gold fillings of Jewish prisoners he saved from the gas chambers. As they present it to him they quote a verse from the Koran, "For whoever saves one life saves the world entire."



Now, I'm certainly no Oskar Schindler, nor would I ever compare myself to him, but I have learned from him via the movie and eventually from reading the book (much better than the movie, as always). Here is what I learned - sometimes you have to go against the grain, you have to make ripples in the water to make waves on the shore.

I believe in inclusion - plain and simple. In a nation of all for one and one for all it would seem it's all for some and some for all. In Denmark, special needs seems to have become special treatment - like that of Oskar Schindler's time in Hitler's Germany where "special treatment" meant death in the gas chamber. But this time it's en utero. They hope to become Down syndrome free by 2030. How will they do this? According to Leticia Velasquez of The National Catholic Register -

"The test, MaterniT21, will eliminate the miscarriage risk of chorionic villus sampling and amniocentesis, both invasive tests, and is far more reliable than current early blood tests.

But it is not a life-saving discovery for everyone. The fact is: 92% of mothers who discover that their unborn child has Down syndrome choose abortion."

Ask the Kim McGuffey, Connection Coordinator of my foundation I Run 4 (IR4), if she is disappointed in her little boy Aiden (pictured below). She says "he is the light and joy of my life!

But say I did, abort him or just say I never had him... I would have missed out on the purest innocence I've ever known. I would have missed out on learning what true compassion is. What it really means to accept something someone else deems to be imperfect or even worth discarding. To realize that perfection is found in the strangest of places. [I've said] that Aiden's eyes are the part of his Ds features that I love the most and those eyes are what shows everyone that he has Ds. But they are so unique and so beautiful. I would have hated to have missed those eyes. They are what look at me with that innocence and those are the eyes that looked at me after I learned he had Ds and said, I know I wasn't what you expected, but love me anyway"

Christina, who's son Andrew (pictured below) is confined to a wheelchair due to spastic quadriplegia, cerebral palsy, kyphosis, and hydrocephalus explains life with a special needs child like this "admittedly, we are often on the road less traveled, sometimes it even seems we are traveling this path alone. It is here where we make the most precious of memories, meet the most awesome people and appreciate all of the scenery. The speed limit here is a little slower, but this just gives us more time to appreciate the beauty that so many people on the fast track miss. Andrew was blessed with life the doctors said he wouldn't have. He has taught me to live it to the fullest."

We could all use a little extra joy in our lives. While a child with special needs is admittedly harder to raise than a child without, the rewards are so great. Each accomplishment means the world. I'm sure Christina's pride was a mighty flowing river when Andrew earned 4 gold medals in the Special Olympics. His event? The wheelchair race.

Then there is Dick and Rick Hoyt - a father and son duo. A picture says a thousand words, so I won't describe the love of this father for his son. Instead, watch this video...

I'm no Oskar Schlindler. I do not face a death penalty for the preservation of lives that some deem unfit for our society. It would be ignorant to believe they have no quality of life. It would be a travesty to human kind to fall for the propaganda pushing for the destruction of these wonderful souls - before they see the light of day. Michael is my buddy - I run for him. He has blessed my life a thousand times over, so who do you run for?

What is "heart"?

You hear it all the time. People who do amazing things because they have "heart." Even when people don't want to push themselves, they say, "I don't have the heart to do it."

But what is it? How do you obtain it? In this instance, "heart" can be translated into "courage."

When I was a police officer, I thought I had courage. I would face criminals on a daily basis in the roughest parts of Montgomery, AL. I remember the foot chases and vehicle pursuits like it was yesterday. Did it take courage? Certainly, but nothing like the young lady I'm about to tell you about. Her name is Natalie Twedell.

Natalie was the thirteenth runner to join I Run For... (IR4). She had been paired with the wonderful Zoe, daughter of Heather Redington. On the surface, Natalie looks just like any other loving mother and wife. Her profile picture is with her husband and two children, all acting silly (it truly is an adorable picture). But life for her hasn't always been blissful.

Eleven years ago, Natalie was married to Drew Laird, a highly motivated individual - an avid runner who became a Blackhawk helicopter pilot at the age of twenty-two. When Drew was twenty-three, two major things happened in his life - he and Natalie became first-time parents with the birth of their son Caeden. Secondly, he was deployed to Iraq for 18 months.

When Drew returned home from his deployment, he shared with Natalie that he wished to be come one of the military's elite - he wanted to become a Navy SEAL. His self training became very intense – he began "training and running and swimming even harder than he ever had before." 

On May, 19th 2008, he ran his first marathon - the Colfax Marathon. When he crossed the finish line, Natalie was there to cheer him on. By her own admission, she "had little motivation so instead I would cheer him on!" 

"It was a really sweet time," Natalie confessed. They were pregnant with their second son, Ethan, and Drew had completed his first Navy SEAL assessment. They decided to take Memorial weekend to visit a nearby National Cemetery to honor fallen heroes. 

During somber moments like that, we tend to think of our own mortality. This couple was no exception. They discussed what would happen if Drew should pass away. "He reminded me gently that he loved Jesus and he would be in heaven with the Lord, so I would need to do whatever helped me here."

The following day it was business as usual. Drew was at the local training center training on his own for a 50-meter underwater swim without oxygen. "It is called Shallowater blackout," according to the Coroner. "He had been holding his breath for too long and would not even have felt lightheaded. On May 27th, 2008, he went to be with Jesus at age twenty-five."

Looking back, Natalie says she was grateful that God had prepared her for this tragic event during their trip to the National Cemetery the day before the accident. Natalie recalls a scripture Drew would always quote to her - it was Hebrews 12:1:

1. Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, 

let us strip off every weight that slows us down,

especially the sin that so easily trips us up.

And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

Two years later, Natalie started running the race set before her. She had started training for her first marathon - the first marathon Drew had run - the Colfax. "So with many tears, I ran the Colfax Marathon with my sister, three years after Drew died." 

During her training, God had another surprise for her. She had met a wonderful man, Matt. The two are now happily married. As for Natalie, she has completed two marathons since - one being the Rock and Roll Marathon in Denver. 

So what is "heart"? In Natalie's case, it's the will to pick up the pieces and run the race God has set before us. So I have to ask... who do YOU run for?

What's It Worth?

My original idea for this week's blog was going to be about how I felt such emptiness in life before I started ""I Run For...". I had dreams of making it big in music and being rich beyond my imagination, but God had other things in store for me. He wanted me to start this group and get wealthy in a way beyond material wealth.

The change in plans happened last week when I needed it the most. I had started writing this blog and was quite dismayed at the lack of interesting words on the page. If it was to be compared with fine art then mine was the proverbial stick figure. So just as I got to a high level of frustration, God sent me a sign in the form of a friend request.

These days I get several friend requests over the course of a few hours because that's how the IR4 group works. I get the friend request from the runner and the parent of the buddy and I make the match. The one I got this particular day came with a message which struck a familiar chord with me. He had stated he was a new runner - not unlike me. 

His name is Chris Stocum. He's not a celebrity, he's got several piercings, and is inked up. At first glance he looks like a biker. Maybe it's because he is. He has also just started running - hence the reason I am blogging about my new friend.

For Chris, the day of April 20th, 2011, was one that changed the course of his life and led him to become a runner. On that Wednesday, Chris was stopped in a construction zone. It was the kind of situation where it didn't matter how safe he had been. Like a bolt of lightning his life changed and he was in a fight - for his life.

He had been hit by a tractor-trailer. The force of the impact and weight of the semi had folded him in half. breaking everything but his arms, legs, and two ribs. When Chris finally left the hospital, he was still on a breathing machine for his collapsed lung, "drooling from brain damage," and in a wheelchair due to his broken pelvis.

Chris fought for five months and in September of 2011 he took his first steps since his accident. To me, this alone is absolutely remarkable. God had definitely put his finger on this man and said, "Your work here is not done!" He sent this man to me almost two years later as a runner wanting to run FOR someone, not to have someone run for him. He has been matched with Caleb (son of Karen Prewitt).

So while he could have quit at any time he did NOT! When I made the match of Chris and Caleb, I used the adjective "courageous" for both of these inspiring individuals and now you know why. So now I ask, who do YOU run for?

edited by Carol Dublin

How We Are Inspired

for·ti·tude

noun \ˈfȯr-tə-ˌtüd, -ˌtyüd\

1: strength of mind that enables a person to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage (Merriam-Webster)

I had originally intended to write this weeks blog about two of our runners who have or are about to begin an incredible feat. David Uhlir competed in a one-hundred (100) mile race. He completed 66.8 miles, which to me is unfathomable considering I turned tail and quit after 1.71 miles just yesterday. The other is "I Run For..." (IR4) Vice President Amy Courts. She is about to embark on a 50 mile run, a true test of grit and fortitude.

Now, please don't get me wrong here, each runner or athlete has fortitude. We consistently push ourselves beyond goals we once thought unattainable, but what drives us? What pushes us the extra mile (or a multitude of miles in David and Amy's case)?

Sure David, Amy, and most of us were all runners or athletes before IR4. But IR4 has made the challenges seem more worthwhile. I know in my case it sure has. In other cases it has inspired others to join in the fun! But let me tell you about the true warriors; the strongest individuals in IR4...

First up is Zion. He is a machine who never says quit. Despite the odds stacked against him, he has defied the odds. This hero has had both feet amputated and recently got prosthetic legs. He and his sisters Zoe and Zanna (All three children have special needs) played baseball this past weekend! To add to this, today he ran, with his mom Heather Redingon in tow, a 2.9 mini marathon on the streets of Nashville. Even the famous Toby Mac had the privilege of hanging out with Zion - Toby must be honored!

Next up is Heavenly! Her name is so appropriate! This young girl has her sights set on bigger and better targets. Heavenly has been paired up with Carol Hagstrom but it turns out Heavenly may end up being one of IR4's best runners! She competed in the Special Olympics in her hometown in Tennessee. She was so amazing she has been chosen to compete at the state level! So I ask, who's the athlete now?

I have to say, life at I Run For... never gets dull. This week we have hit our 600th member mark, 92 pairings, and we even have our own OFFICIAL song -  "I Run To You" by Silversyde

We gain our inspiration from the inspirational, but sometimes we need to open our eyes to see it first. So with that in mind, I ask who do YOU run for?

I can, I will, I DO!

This last month has been particularly hard on me. I've been living in a hotel in a small rural North Dakota town where the main attraction is the obelisk erected at the geological center of North America. While the people here are very nice, it's not home, nor is it my future home of Nashville. To compound the feelings of desolation, this year's winter seems eternal. I started feeling sorry for myself.

So when I least expected it, a friend sent me a facebook message. He was telling me how great his run was yesterday and how he had an average 7:30 minute/mile. I told Brock about my woes and he bluntly said, "It's more of a question of whether or not you think it's worth it." You see, Brock has lost a lot of weight since he started running June 11, 2012. He did it, without quitting – he lost 110 pounds!

So this morning I donned my Under Armour cold gear and laced up my Nike Free 5.0 running shoes and took off. Running is extremely therapeutic for me. It's my time to talk to God. I tell him what I am frustrated with, what I'm happy for, and thank him for the people in my life. Today was no different with the exception of the revelation.

Satan has been using my environment to keep me down. He's good at telling me I am worthless and I can't and shouldn't run. He's good at making me believe that I'm not really making a difference. So during my run today I decided I'm not worthless, I am loved! I will continue to try bring joy into the lives of others. If I reach just one person, I am not a failure. Michael is my inspiration, Brock is my inspiration, Jesus is my inspiration.

                           Zoe Redington holding her handmade sign for Natalie

We now have 562 members,75 matches in six different countries (Canada, Australia, Mexico, Grenada, Italy, and the United States) and this very blog being read in 10 countries! So go to Hell, Satan – I can, I will, I DO! I Run For Michael, who do YOU run for?

Milestones!

Each of us lives life in our own way. We are independent, well, for the most part we are. As we grow, we reach certain milestones. At first the milestones are more for someone else's joy; for example, our first birthday (we certainly don't remember that!), our first steps and our first words. I'm fairly certain my parents now regret my first words because I haven't stopped since! While we may look at old worn and tattered pictures of us with cake all over our face and hair, the nostalgia is felt only within the hearts of our elders.

As we age, we begin to take ownership of the milestones. Who remembers losing their first tooth, and the visit from tooth fairy? How about your first kiss? I would like to say I remember it but I would have to give up my man card. The more time passes, the less trivial the milestones become. I remember it well – the day I finally walked across the stage to receive my high school diploma. I remember double checking to see if it was signed because I didn't take school seriously. I remember the day my children were born like it was yesterday.



Another milestone I remember is my first 5k run. It was January 26th, 2013. It was for Sunshine Fest, a local organization raising money to build a hospitality house. I remember this well because not only was it my first 5k, but it was also the first official race for Michael. I held back a lot of tears crossing the finish line; the threshold of the Ralph Engelstad Arena. My friend Kerri was there cheering me on with all of her might and the metallic clanging of her cowbell got me pushing harder. That was the beginning of "I Run For..."










So here we are, just two and a half months later and the milestones are racking up! We have started branching out from people with Down syndrome, to autism, to cerebral palsy, and are working toward an "I Run For..." remembrance to be headed up by Yvonne Jones!



On April 3rd, 2013, "I Run For..." hit TWO fantastic marks. The first is its 500th group member, Desiree Winnett, who represents the fourth of five countries we have reached. The second benchmark is the 50th match! The lucky pair is Tessa Haft, daughter of Jeri Haft and her runner Kathy Simmons who is the mother of Board member and fellow runner Lesley Larson



There seemed to be a theme on the number five this week (not sure if you noticed it) but we also made its presence known in a fifth country! We are truly international with members in Canada, Australia, Grenada, Mexico, and the United States.



The milestones of the individuals in the group are as bold as for the group itself. And as varied as the individuals. Whether it is to run a 5K, a half marathon, 100K, walk more, do more weight lifting and Cross Fit – each of the runners has milestones ahead. And those we are running for have milestones of healing from surgery, learning to walk, and developing into incredible people despite overwhelming odds against them.



As we all encourage each other and cheer for each milestone, we champion the idea that we are all improving and adding to the value of each other’s’ lives. What an incredible movement we have begun here. And imagine where we will be in another two and a half months!

So which milestones have you created in your life? More importantly, who do YOU run for?

Co-Authored by Carol Dublin. You can check out her blog http://www.caroldublin.com/

It's all in your heart (not your mind)!

When I crossed the finish line of my first ever 5K in Michael's honor, I fought back a lot of tears. He had pushed me to victory. No, I didn't win the race nor did I even come close to first place, but he had gotten inside my heart and gave me the courage to finish! This was such an amazing feeling for me and very much indescribable. It was something I couldn't wrap my mind around - only the heart can understand something this dynamic. God had planted a bug in my head to get others involved so they, too, could feel exactly what I was feeling. I wanted to share the experience – but how would others receive it or even feel about it?

A good friend of mine, Yvonne Jones, asked if she could be paired up with someone and so Vice President Amy Courts paired her with Brooke, a wonderful young lady with autism (pictured below).

Even though Yvonne is still in the grips of tragedy, as she explains, her loving heart is always giving. "I love the fact that I can run for someone else. I, too, have a very awesome son, Nick, who had a swimmer paired up with him. Nick passed away 2 months ago. After he passed, I thought "what do I do with my life now that he is gone?"

Then one day, God spoke to me. I NEED to run! And within a few weeks, Tim [and Amy] got me hooked up with Brooke and her mom. I haven't been the same since. I Run For Brooke...but I also RUN in memory of Nick."

Leanna Jackson, whose child is paired, says "I have spent five years not being taken seriously. My son looks, acts, seems completely normal. Sometimes things feel completely normal, which made me feel guilty, like we didn't have it bad enough to deserve to have someone run for him. It's been almost four years since he was in the hospital. He improved so much last year that his surgery was cancelled. [So] then I stopped and thought about it, I looked past my own truckload of guilt and remembered how this affects our lives on a daily basis [and] how he will be different from everyone for as long as he lives. I don't even know all the ways this will limit him [or] how the prayer we've received thus far has made all the difference; how to know that someone was thinking, for however many miles, of him... how even if I feel like I deserve nothing, he deserves all that, and more. All the hope and prayer we're fortunate enough to receive because [as] calm as things may seem sometimes, he is lucky, blessed, to be alive and when I accepted all that, I felt humbled, a lot less guilty, enormously grateful, and deeply honored."

And the honor is felt everywhere as, Julie Rager (our official cheerleader!) explains "When I first saw this site, I had a feeling deep down within me that this "family" was going to grow. I am so excited to see the progress of our entire family of 300 wonderful and very special people. This is a group that includes everyone in one way or another, that's why I call it a "Family." This group is inspiring with what they do or what they post. I find inspiration and I have a feeling of hope – a hope that anyone, whether you're a child or an adult, with a developmental or intellectual disability can be respected and well taken care of. Whether you are parents or siblings who have stepped up in taking care of your family, whether you are a support staff who just checks in once in awhile, or you have staff members there at all times in a 24-hour period, this site gives me hope that they will be treated with respect and dignity and to also have the same rights as everyone else and to be free from abuse and neglect. This site demonstrates that all human lives are to be respected. This site fills me up with love and I love to not just see the workout posts, but pictures of all of you athletes showing your love and support by honoring someone else. I love the posts that I see of family members or friends or staff where they offer positive support. I am telling you that I feel surrounded by love everytime I make a post. I was honored to be a part of this family by being nominated as your cheerleader. I am disabled, but I worked with adults that have developmental and intellectual disabilities for over 12 years. I miss seeing "my guys," as I always called them. The reason I felt so honored is because for the last couple of years I struggled with coming to terms with "slowing down." It was hard. I have always wanted to make a difference and when I saw this site, I knew that I wanted to somehow encourage all of the athletes. When I was mentioned to be nominated for being a cheerleader, I couldn't move fast enough to tell my husband. He said to me, "I haven't seen you smile like that in a long time." I was so happy that I was included. I take my 'job' very seriously."

It's not hard to see or hear why it is I do what I do, but I have to ask, who do YOU run for?

Ripple Effect

rip′ple effect` 

n.

a spreading effect or series of consequences caused by a single action or event.

[1965–70]

Random House Kernerman Webster's College Dictionary, © 2010 K Dictionaries Ltd. Copyright 2005, 1997, 1991 by Random House, Inc. All rights reserved.

I had never really given much consideration to the ripple effect. While I have certainly made mistakes in my life, I have witnessed the first hand and sometimes the second hand results of my actions but I never really thought much beyond that point. Until now, that is.

I have always believed I could make a difference in this world. I was a police officer in Montgomery, Alabama. I thought for sure I was going to rid the world of the evil that lurks and preys on innocent people. Sure I made many arrests, some with fellow runner Paul Norcross, but there seemed to be ten bad guys to replace the one we took to jail. Then I thought maybe, just maybe, it would be with my music. After all, this year will be my 28th year playing guitar. But much to my surprise (sarcastically), no. 

Now don't get me wrong, this isn't about me. This is about an idea God gave me and how He made it work. I knew what I was doing for Michael was a good thing because of feedback I received from him and his mom, Mary. Soon there were people wanting to join in, which I thought was amazing!

Now it's time for the ripple effect.

I had just a limited picture of what was really taking place and how people were reacting – that is until I received a comment from Laura Chapman whose son Ben has been paired up with "I Run For..." runner Peter Flagg.

"I wanted to let you all know that I Run for... is now a daily topic in our house. The kids are always asking how far Peter Flagg ran or biked for that day. They ask what others have done and for whom. My older kids are shocked at how many athletes are willingly doing this. You see before we moved from CA, they were never accepted and were always outcasts, even to adults, due to their special needs. They are much more accepted here, but still find it shocking to hear of others actually reaching out to those that are differently abled. So not are you only reaching out and helping those you are paired with, but you are giving some older children some hopes again."

Now I don't know about you, but this warms my heart! Especially since Laura adopted Ben, now there is a HUGE heart! You can read Ben's story here: https://www.facebook.com/notes/laura-spencer-chapman/99-fetal-alcohol-syndrome-awareness-day/135031330765

I would love nothing more than to make these ripples into tidal waves. So I have to ask, who do you run for?